Tweets

dirkar:

I didn’t realize how much spongebob I really knew until y'all started posting captioned screenshots and I could fully reconstruct both the visual and auditory situations of each and every goddamn one. Can’t study for History of the English Language but by fuck do I remember what that one voice actor of that one fish from that one episode sounds like to the damn syllable.

working in retail

goths7:

me: hey

customer: i wish you would just fucking DIE 

me: okay let me know if you have any questions ! 

jonbutter:

laddermatch:

acoolguy:

anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

ccant relate

why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins

Literally just want to fucking kill myself lol good times

giraffepoliceforce:

vnicent:

otteroftheworld:

My parents live in this town and the city legally can’t tear the tree down to build or anything because the tree has its own legal rights and they can’t do anything about it.

how does. how does this happen. how DID this happen

I love this story because this guy in the early 1800’s had so many great childhood memories of this tree and wanted to make sure it was protected no matter what. So he deeded the ownership of the tree to itself and everyone just went with it.

Then in 1942 this intense windstorm came and knocked the tree over. And people were bummed. But someone had saved an acorn from the original tree, so they planted that and now Son of the Tree That Owns Itself is over 50 feet tall.

And since this new tree is technically the offspring of the original tree it’s considered to have legally inherited the plot of land it’s inhabiting.

Two generations of trees owning land is amazing and if you don’t think this is the coolest thing get right out of my face.

smatter:

I hate this

steakpanties:

u should always wear oversized sweaters bc when ur in an uncomfortable situation u can just kind of pull ur entire body into it and hide from the world until the danger passes, also if u want to, u can pretend ur a turtle

saltycashew:

Concept: a relationship where you’re both equally obsessed with one another but still respect eachothers space. There is no lack of communication or trust. Lots of sex.


canadian-girl-hates-winter:

noahbattles:

weloveshortvideos:

Darth Vaders favorite song 

This is not what I expected when I unmuted…

I love this

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com)

danielalaa:

“Table or booth?”

Booth. So I can sit criss-cross-applesauce while enjoying a gourmet meal.


g0n-er:

x-ray-and-bands:

tea-bagging-jones:

icey-queenland:

thedstrider:

IT FITS SO WELL IM SCREAMING

WHY DOES IT FIT SO WELL

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT STOP

IM WHeEXIN

eminent-non-achiever

roavaswardrobe:

assvvipe:

summer lovin
had me a blast
summer lovin
dick in my ass

image

image

blyndimpulse:

College students be like

just-shower-thoughts:

Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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